Planning a movie date with Shannon was a mind game. No superheroes. No magic. No rom coms. No westerns. No orphans. No magic orphans. No talking animals. Nothing where they’d probably be the oldest people in the theater. Nothing in its first weekend. Horror could be okay if it wasn’t about magic or orphans. Shoot-em-ups were possible, if she’d seen the star on a late night show, otherwise Shannon would never believe the actor was a nice guy.
Ash had been with her for almost a year. A mutual friend (Brent) introduced them. He knew Brent from the Celebrity Impersonator Conference in Las Vegas. Ash went as comedian Seth Rogen, and Brent as country singer Brad Paisley. Both men performed in the Conference variety show, with a stand-up act and a song medley respectively.
To create a little mystery on their first date, Brent told Shannon that Ash looked like a celebrity but wouldn’t specify. It took her until dessert to guess. Ash wisely changed the subject when Shannon inquired whom he though was her celebrity doppelgänger.
Since their first date, Ash had been on a diet. He figured it would make him look less like Seth Rogen. But, according to a celebrity magazine he thumbed through in a doctor’s waiting room, Mr. Rogen was also dieting. Ash took the magazine, and showed it to Shannon. She pointed out the issue was dated from two years ago. Shannon was usually quick to point out details that he overlooked. Such as if he forgot the exact time they planned to meet up. She’d especially correct him if he forgot one of her movie choosing rules.
“I only correct you to be fair,” she’d say. “You have as many rules about picking a restaurant as I do for choosing a movie.” Shannon was right, but he had too much of a headache to try and think through all of her cinema selection criteria. He rested his head in his hands.
“I don’t think I’m gonna go to the celebrity conference with Brent this year,” he said.
Shannon didn’t ask why. She understood. “Since losing the weight, you don’t look enough like Seth.”
She was half-right.
Most of the conference attendees didn’t just resemble a celebrity, they tried to live like the person too (or at least how they imagined their lifestyle). Ash had tried that in the past, but felt himself drifting away from his man-child spirit animal.
In the past year, Ash made some major life changes. In addition to Shannon and the diet, he quit smoking pot. And other idiosyncrasies were retreating. Ash felt that his sense of humor had changed. The more time he spent with Shannon, the less crude humor appealed to him. Added together all these changes felt disorienting.
“Who do you think I look like now?” he asked.
Shannon only had to think a moment. “I don’t know his name, but he’s in that new shoot-em-up movie. I saw him on one of the late shows last night.”
I’m a producer, writer and storyteller with expertise in digital, print, film, TV & stage productions